The Gupta Empire: India's Golden Age

Fig.1: King Chandragupta I 
showing off the classic 
"Quarter in the Ear" trick.

Every great nation has its golden age, where a stable government and a wealth of cultural achievements make life an all-around awesome experience. Examples often include England during the Elizabethan era, China under the rule of the Tang Dynasty, and Russia that one day when the temperature went above 20°F. But before all of that, India had their age of gold during the reign of the Gupta Empire from the 4th to 6th centuries AD. The strong leadership of the Gupta kings meant that citizens were able to excel in disciplines such as science, astronomy, literature, engineering, medicine, and magic tricks that impress all the ladies (fig.1). While it went downhill after the Guptas' overthrow, India has been making a comeback in recent years, hitting strides in technology, film, education, and most importantly, Miss America contests (the winner's nationality gains the right to control stock prices for that fiscal year). So let us first look at India's original golden age before they begin a new one and take our jobs.

Ashoka the Great

Fig.1: You know you're great when your emblem includes multiple lions.

I know there are a lot of rulers out there that are nicknamed "the Great." It's almost like they just give the title away sometimes; I will personally go on a manhunt if I ever seriously hear the words "George W. Bush the Great." But some historic figures are truly deserving of the cognomen (Alexander, Charlemagne, Timur, Peter, Wayne Gretzky) not only for their conquests, but also for the cultural impact they left in the land and/or hockey league they dominated. A little-known and under-appreciated "the Great" tucked away in the forest of ancient history is man named Ashoka, who ruled the Maurya Empire in present-day India. Sure, Ashoka was a beast on the battlefield (and with the ladies, which is a requirement to earn "the Great"), but he is perhaps more revered as a patron of Buddhism, allowing it to become the dominant religion in South and East Asia over the next millennium. Not even Gretzky had that kind of hold over those impressionable Canadians, and that's saying something.