|Fig.1: Unlike Saint Patrick, Brian Boru thankfully doesn't |
have a day where it is acceptable for people dress as
ugly, hairy leprechauns.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Composed by Sima Dave circa Wednesday, July 15, 2015 1 comment:
Labels: Battle of Clontarf, Brian Boru, Connacht, Ireland, Leinster, Meath, Medieval Europe, Munster, Ulster, Vikings, Western Europe
Setting: Cashel, Co. Tipperary, Ireland
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Declaration of Independence (video)
Historical sources do not reveal King George III's immediate reaction to thirteen of his colonies' declaration of independence (known as the Declaration of Independence). Luckily I have been dumped once or thrice in my life, and I have a little bit of an idea of how it went down. This video is my depiction of how the United States' moment of independence went down from the monarchical mindset, complete with a full-range of beautifully-choreographed facial expressions.
Teachers! Check out the lesson activity that can be used with this video as guided practice for understanding the Declaration of Independence as a primary source!
America Breaks Up with King George by Voicemail (Declaration of Independence)
Composed by Sima Dave circa Saturday, July 04, 2015 No comments:
Labels: American Revolution, Declaration of Independence, King George III of Great Britain, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, United States
Setting: Philadelphia, PA, USA
Monday, June 29, 2015
The Seventh Crusade
|Fig.1: The fedora fad of the 1920s would only be outdone|
by the one of the 1220s.
Composed by Sima Dave circa Monday, June 29, 2015 No comments:
Labels: Ayyubid Dynasty, Catholicism, Christianity, Crusades, Holy Land, Islam, Jerusalem, King Louis IX of France, Malmuk Dynasty, Medieval Europe, Middle East, Seventh Crusade
Thursday, June 18, 2015
The Sixth Crusade
|Fig.1: Most of the world's reaction|
to the calling of a sixth crusade.
Composed by Sima Dave circa Thursday, June 18, 2015 No comments:
Labels: Al-Kamil, Ayyubid Dynasty, Catholicism, Christianity, Crusades, Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II, Islam, Medieval Europe, Middle East, Sixth Crusade
Setting: Jerusalem, Israel
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
The Fifth Crusade
Oh yeah, Crusades Month is back, and better than ever! Well the scope and overall effectiveness of the Crusades covered this month aren't better than ever (believe it or not, they're even worse), but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun at the expense of trivial religious warfare! This month I will be covering Crusades 5-7, which, if they were movie sequels, would be well past the tipping point of enthusiasm for even the most beloved film franchises (unless you're The Fast and the Furious, for reasons I dare not comprehend).
By the year 1213, the Crusades have had over a century to build up their reputation of suckiness. The First Crusade (1096-1099) allowed the Christians from Europe to conquer the holy city of Jerusalem from the various Muslim groups that previously controlled it, only to undermine their victory by bringing their typical European pettiness along with them. The fall of one of their possessions led to the Second Crusade (1145-1149), which not only attacked the wrong Muslims, but also lost against them! The fall of Jerusalem to Saladin led to the Third Crusade (1189-1192), which started out pretty promising for the Christians under the leadership of Richard the Lionheart, only to have it all end with a dud in the name of peace (yawn). And then there was the Fourth Crusade (1202-1204), which didn't even make it to the Holy Land and only led to the destruction of the Christian city of Constantinople (granted, they totally deserved it for leavening their communion bread). Instead of just cutting their losses and focusing on other things, like, I don't know, feeding their starving peasants or something, Europeans decided to call for yet another crusade. And so the franchise regretfully continued (a quote that would be repeated ever since Transformers got a sequel).
|Fig.1: Europe just couldn't wait to add another one of these to its list of "Reasons Why the Rest of the World Thinks We're Jerks."|
Composed by Sima Dave circa Tuesday, June 09, 2015 No comments:
Labels: Al-Kamil, Ayyubid Dynasty, Catholicism, Christianity, Crusades, Fifth Crusade, Holy Land, Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II, Islam, Jerusalem, King Andrew II of Hungary, Medieval Europe, Middle East
Setting: Damietta, Qism Damietta, Egypt
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Mount Everest (video)
Here is Canned History #6, where I please my geologist friends by talking about one of Earth's greatest natural wonders (behind rock candy, of course): Mount Everest. The mountain and the people surrounding it have such a rich history, regardless of its present status of the world's deadliest tourist trap. Once you're done watching this video, make sure to donate to a relief fund in order to help Nepal recover from this year's devastating earthquakes, and then watch the video about seventeen more times!
For more information on relief efforts, visit the Nepal Red Cross Society's website.
Canned Histories: Mount Everest
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
|Fig.1: Only the greatest conflicts are depicted on pottery.|
Now where did I put my Desert Storm vase?
Composed by Sima Dave circa Wednesday, April 01, 2015 No comments:
Labels: Achilles, Ancient Greece, Eastern Europe, Greece, Hector, Homer, Odysseus, The Iliad, The Odyssey, Trojan War, Troy, Turkey
Setting: Tevfikiye, Turkey
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Ivan the Terrible
|Fig.1: If anything's terrible,|
it's that robe.
Composed by Sima Dave circa Wednesday, March 18, 2015 1 comment:
Labels: Denmark, Ivan the Terrible, Kazan Khanate, Livonian War, Medieval Europe, Moscow, Oprichnina, Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, Russia, Siberia, Sweden
Setting: Moscow, Russia
Thursday, March 5, 2015
War of Jenkins' Ear
|Fig.1: I miss the days when people loved their lobes so much, they were willing to fight for them.|
Composed by Sima Dave circa Thursday, March 05, 2015 No comments:
Labels: British colonialism, Colombia, Early Modern Europe, Spain, Spanish colonialism, United Kingdom, War of the Austrian Succession
Setting: Cartagena, Colombia
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Kingdom of Nri
|Fig.1: If you squint, the Kingdom of Nri looks...just as puny.|
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Happy Presidents' Day weekend! I will be continuing my coverage of every United States chief executive that I began last year with George Washington and will end in 2059 with the eternal-presidency of Taylor Swift. God help us.
It's tough being a second fiddle, especially when one fiddle is annoying enough. In American history, the quintessential second banana also happened to be the second President: John Adams (fig.1). While he was undoubtedly one of the most influential figures during the American Revolution and in the early political development of the United States, Adams has been overshadowed, both then and now, by his more recognizable contemporaries. This certainly did not help his normally sour mood, as Adams was a master at quick wit and insults even before the days of "Yo Mama" jokes. It will now be my goal to lift John Adams out of his constant role as an understudy and make him the leading man on the marquee. At least until next year when I get to write about Thomas Jefferson (oh good, somebody important).
|Fig.1: Who is this guy again?|
Composed by Sima Dave circa Sunday, February 15, 2015 No comments:
Labels: Abigail Adams, Alexander Hamilton, American Revolution, Benjamin Franklin, British colonialism, France, George Washington, John Adams, Massachusetts, North America, Thomas Jefferson, U.S. President, United States
Setting: Quincy, MA, USA
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Battle of Carrhae
|Fig.1: "After this defeat, no one will be able to stop us!"|
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
|Fig.1: Bennelong was voted the Best Dressed|
Australian of 1791.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Lisbon Earthquake of 1755
|Fig.1: Lisbon and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.|
Composed by Sima Dave circa Sunday, January 18, 2015 No comments:
Labels: Early Modern Europe, earthquake, King Joseph I of Portugal, Lisbon, Marquis of Pombal, Morocco, Portugal, Portuguese colonialism, Spain, Western Europe
Setting: Lisbon, Portugal
Saturday, January 10, 2015
|Fig.1: I'll wait until they install the escalator.|
Composed by Sima Dave circa Saturday, January 10, 2015 No comments:
Labels: Belize, Calakmul, Central America, Copan, Guatemala, Honduras, Maya, Mexico, Teotihuacan, Tikal
Setting: Tikal, Guatemala
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