John Adams

Happy Presidents' Day weekend! I will be continuing my coverage of every United States chief executive that I began last year with George Washington and will end in 2059 with the eternal-presidency of Taylor Swift. God help us.

Fig.1: Who is this guy again?

It's tough being a second fiddle, especially when one fiddle is annoying enough. In American history, the quintessential second banana also happened to be the second President: John Adams (fig.1). While he was undoubtedly one of the most influential figures during the American Revolution and in the early political development of the United States, Adams has been overshadowed, both then and now, by his more recognizable contemporaries. This certainly did not help his normally sour mood, as Adams was a master at quick wit and insults even before the days of "Yo Mama" jokes. It will now be my goal to lift John Adams out of his constant role as an understudy and make him the leading man on the marquee. At least until next year when I get to write about Thomas Jefferson (oh good, somebody important).

Battle of Carrhae

Fig.1: "After this defeat, no one will be able to stop us!"

The Romans were a very successful civilization back in the day, and part of their success can be attributed to all the battles they won. However, one of the biggest battles that directly led to the development of their expansive empire that blanketed three continents and turned the Mediterranean into a Roman nude beach was one in which they absolutely got their butts kicked. That's what happened in 53 BC near the ancient town of Carrhae in present-day Turkey. Rome had been squabbling for control of the region with the Parthian Empire, who already ruled Persia and Mesopotamia and was looking to expand their influence and carpeting business into Anatolia. Though the Romans lost the battle, as well as their richest man during the fighting, it set into motion a sequence of events that allowed Julius Caesar to take over the city and the eventual creation of the Empire that grabbed everything they saw. Yeah, maybe the Parthians should have just thrown that battle.

Bennelong

Fig.1: Bennelong was voted the Best Dressed
Australian of 1791.

Moving to a new place is hard, especially when you don't know the customs and habits of your new neighbors (how was I supposed to know that jackhammering the walls at 3am was frowned upon in my apartment building?). It's always nice make a friend who will let you know the good places to eat and the cool things to see and the proper method for removing copperhead venom from an infected wound. This was exactly the role served by a man named Bennelong (fig.1), an Aboriginal Australian who lived on the eventual site of Sydney in the 18th and 19th centuries. Bennelong helped the British colonists better understand the ways of Australia and its inhabitants, allowing for their survival and the formation of a greater trust between the two peoples. He also got a free trip to England out of it as well, educating Europeans to Aboriginal Australian culture and getting a lesson himself as to what exactly is "bangers and mash." While inter-cooperation between the British and Australia's indigenous people did not last, Bennelong remains a revered figure among both cultures within Australian history for being a good friend and neighbor (unlike the old Russian lady in 3C who went at me with her rolling pin).

Lisbon Earthquake of 1755

Fig.1: Lisbon and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Natural disasters happen practically everyday; things like hurricanes, volcanoes, forest fires, and Doritos Locos Taco shortages have all left their mark on individuals around the world. But sometimes Mother Nature gets so worked up that she just has to make a profound impact on history as well. This certainly happened in 1755, when an earthquake off the southwest corner of Europe pretty much destroyed Portugal's capital of Lisbon, as well as much of the rest of the country. Not only did this disaster alter the political and colonial aspirations of Portugal, but it also affected the philosophical and religious foundations of Europe as a whole, not to mention ruined the Domino Toppling Convention being held in Lisbon that year. In addition, this earthquake caused people to actually start figuring out why the earth quakes to begin with, giving rise to seismology (yet another college degree that pays better than history).